...and I thought everything was real. It's not a dream..but it's actually a nightmare that I hopefully won't happen in the real life. AND IT SHOULD NOT HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE!!!

It was around quarter to 8 (or something like that) when I first woke up on Sunday, Nov 18, 2007. I just realized that my nightmare wasn't real...

...you know what was my nightmare when I was asleep?



I was killing...people...

...people I know...

If you want to know WHO...it was my family and friends who I was killing in my dream.

I'm sorry if my uncles and cousins would read this in the future...as well to my friends that I love...


Yes...in my nightmare "I was killing people for no reason...I was chocking and suffocating them. And if that wasn't enough...

...I broke their neck...over and over again...

"

It was too real...and I thought IT WAS REALLY REAL...I can still feel their necks breaking in my hands...

To make things short..I already know how it feels killing people without actually killing them. SERIOUSLY. I feel like I just murdered someone...my love ones...people i know...

FUCKING creepy isn't?

I'm of course haunted by what happened. I'm still searching for the meaning and purpose of that fucking nightmare...

...actually that's what I try to do after every dream I dream when I wake from sleeping state. I sometimes try to write it down, nor keep it in my "heart". It always leave me puzzled  or so.

...I prefer remembering my dreams even the horrible ones instead of forgetting them. There are meanings behind it...obviously...

SO there...will you still need me, will you still feed me when I'm sixty-four?

...will you still love me after breaking their necks?
...will you still love me after my hands has gone dirty?
...will you still be there?